Exactly just What had been the possibilities things could wind up violently with me, of course, getting the shitty end between us? Might Trayvon force himself on me personally in a manner that I became reluctant to just accept but struggling to stop?! They certainly were perhaps not idle concerns. We thought long and difficult relating to this, however in the end We decided that no, he’dn’t accomplish that. According to exactly exactly what, you may well ask? Good question — we don’t understand.
Another consideration ended up being, that which was Trayvon leaving this relationship? Demonstrably, he’d have an intercourse partner as well as minimum some usage of my canteen account. We knew he previously simply no cash, in which he knew that I experienced at the very least some cash. Possibly he had been really drawn to me personally and then he was a mooch — we represented a chance to fulfill both requirements! Had been here such a thing undoubtedly incorrect with this? As of this early phase we told myself that so long as he didn’t get too greedy I became fine to allow him have soup or even a honey bun as he desired one thing. Why shouldn’t I reward him for his relationship? All things considered, we endured getting one thing using this too — unlike my situation at Swift Annex I’d have jail bad-ass on my part in the event i obtained harassed or threatened.
Did Trayvon have HIV or various other STD? Needless to say he said no and said he’d getting tested sporadically and blah blah that is blah. I didn’t press the presssing problem or insist upon seeing the test outcomes. Alternatively I inquired myself — keep in mind, this person ended up being assigned to kitchen responsibility — Would my state’s DOC designate some guy with HIV to that particular style of work? I experienced to trust the clear answer ended up being no, no chance. Other inmates later on laughed within my self- self- confidence in DOC! Additionally, he wasn’t using any meds — either K.O.P. (“keep on person”) or solitary dosage. Consequently we judged him become healthy.
Ended up being I the only real guy he had been striking on or are there other people — either there in my own dorm or in your kitchen where he worked sixdays per week? Did we value that? A jail dorm is all about the smallest sexier sexchat amount of personal spot you can reside in, and so I could see the vast majority of Trayvon’s interactions with other people. He previously other buddies, black colored & white. Achieved it appear to be he was hitting on any one of those guys? Response — no. As to whether I cared, we must’ve cared or I would personallyn’t were having to pay a great deal attention. But we told myself we cared maybe perhaps not away from jealousy but because I became nevertheless racking your brains on their genuine motives and focused on getting an STD.
I inquired myself: If i actually do this does which make me personally unfaithful to my ex-wife with who We hoped to get together again once I got away? Exactly just What would which means that? We had been divorced!
Could achieving this somehow turn me personally homosexual after a very long time to be right — at minimum since it pertains to grownups? I did son’t know yet because I hadn’t had this experience yet. But I was thinking — no. I became building an exception that is special this “friend with benefits, ” an exception that will end whenever we finished. We thought, “Trayvon is really a situation that is unique. How many other young black colored dudes may be thinking about a mature white guy? ” Up to now, i did son’t feel any gayer. I became simply messing around and having some disgusting fun. It absolutely was a jail thing.
Before looking at the possibility advantages Trayvon had to provide as being a “friend with advantagesthat I did not think about ahead of time — although in hindsight I really should have” I need to mention one last rather serious problem! Which was, assume we had been learned? Assume rumors because I was spending a lot of time hanging around Trayvon’s bunk and we’re smiling at each other a lot about us began to fly around the dorm just? Just just exactly What would we do, if any such thing, to squelch rumors that are such?